How to Prepare for Your Second Baby: 6 Essential Tips to Support Your Firstborn

Emilia Nathanail
May 12
5 min read

Before you leave for your place of birth hold your older child close to you... when you return they will feel so big!

Baby number 2 is on the way - congratulations! As with your first baby, I'm sure that you are feeling a mix of emotions - excited, overwhelmed, scared, happy, tired and so much more. Expecting a baby for the second time while parenting another baby or toddler, can be more challenging than pregnancy without having to look for other children.

Welcoming a baby for the second time is an entirely new experience with unique challenges especially as you are preparing your firstborn for their new role as an older sibling, but also as you're navigating the new family dynamics. It is important for the expectant parents to prepare both practically and emotionally, something that often gets de-prioritised.

Below you may find 5 tips that can help you feel more prepared for the arrival of your second baby!

Not sure where to begin your preparation? Why not try one of Parent Path's upcoming Refresher Courses? For information email info@parentpath.eu

Reflecting on Your First Experience

Depending on what your experience was the first time around and how you are feeling about it, might influence or affect your approach and feelings for this pregnancy or the upcoming experience of birth. Whether you are the birthing person or the partner, consider discussing your previous experience with a trusted professional or a support group. This process will help you process your emotions, explore your preferences and needs and set your intentions for the upcoming birth.

Think about what you learned from your previous experience, what you would like to be different and outline your desires for the second birth. If helpful, you may considering drafting a Birth Plan. If you decide to create one, then make sure that you share this with your care team and discuss any questions you might have.

Preparing Your Older Child for a New Sibling

It is important for you to decide when you would like to announce your older child about the new arrival. There is no right or wrong time for this as some parents prefer to share the news as soon as possible, others announce it after the 12-week scan and other parents want to wait slightly longer - it depends on your child's age, your preferences and your situation.

Whenever you decide to give them the big news, make sure that your older child has time to bond with the bump. You can achieve that by encouraging them to talk to the baby, feel them kicking, letting them set up the nursery or choose items for the baby or by reading them stories about a new baby joining the family - books and videos can help explain what to expect with a new baby.

Managing Transitions Before the Second Baby Arrives

As your due date approaches, try not to make big changes and adjustments to your child's routine. The arrival is already a big change for them so having a routine that feels familiar helps them feel more settled and secure. If your child is at an appropriate age to transition from nappies to potty avoid potty training close to your due date to prevent overwhelming your child. Other transitions to consider are changing the sleeping arrangements (such as moving to a new bed or a new room, bedtime routine or time etc)

Encouraging Positive Bonds

Second pregnancies tend to feel quite different and many expectant for the second time parents might wonder if it is harder to bond with the second baby. Caring for another child can limit your mental capacity to enjoy your pregnancy or bond with your second baby. However, it is important for you to take time during the day to connect with your second baby and encourage your older child to connect as well.

Once the baby arrives, try to limit the 'no's' and 'don'ts' towards your older child when it comes to your newborn. On the contrary, try to involve them in baby care by encouraging them to participate in an appropriate for their age way (bring nappies, help with dressing the baby, sing lullabies, hold the towel during bath time etc). Remember to acknowledge their new role as an older sibling! This can boost their confidence and their sense of inclusion.

Something very important is to try and spend quality time with your older child. Trying to manage time, needs and expectations in the early days might be challenging but your older child still needs both parents so trying to set aside dedicated time with them every day will reinforce their importance and your love for them.

Self-Care and Seeking Support

Similarly to your first pregnancy, asking for help is not a sign of weakness. If you have friends and family around you that can support accept their help if offered or ask if you need it. If you haven't got family close to you (or if they cannot offer support due to health or other reasons), you might want to consider working with a postnatal doula or other professionals depending on your situation and your needs.

Think about who will care for your older child during labour and birth and whether there are other arrangements for them while you are away. Once there is a plan, explain to them what will happen, who will care for them while you are away and reassure them that you will return soon.

A useful tip - if you have time - is to stock up your freezer with meals not only for your older child but for the whole family - something that will be quite handy during the postpartum period. Have your hospital bag ready and keep the important phone numbers ready (your doctor/ midwife, the person who will take care of your older child etc).

If you haven't got friends who are going through similar experiences with you, consider joining local or online spaces or groups that can offer support but also help you connect with others and become part of a community of like-minded people.

Encourage Emotional Expression

Once the baby arrives, your older child might express their emotions strongly or exhibit regressive behaviours (such as using the bottle or the dummy or peeing themselves). These are normal responses to change and you will need to be patient. Let your child know that it is ok for them to feel a range of emotions about the new baby and encourage them to express their feelings openly. Imagine if your partner brought another partner at home asking you to live with them, love them, share your partner with... how would that make you feel?

A few last words

Preparing for a second baby involves both logistical planning but also emotional readiness. You need to be patient with your older child who is navigating these changes in their lives, but also with yourselves and each other as this is a big change for each one of you as well. Don't forget to seek support if you need it whether this is from family, friends and/ or professionals.